I think that self-talk can come in many forms. For myself it has varied over the Years. For example, at one stage I had a very negative mindset in regards to body image and would often compare myself physically to others. Nothing anyone could say would make me feel any better. At other stages in life my negative self-talk has been about my competencies at work, ability to learn new things or even as a mother. Again, it seemed that nothing externally seemed to help me speak more kindly to myself. There has been a lot of talk recently about being kind to others, but I personally feel that in order to be able to do that, we also need to be kind to ourselves and positive self-talk can be part of this.
Only after many Years of observing others, in particular sportsmen and women and during the training of others. I realised the power of language and a positive mindset. In the past I would have thought that this was maybe bragging, but now I see it as positive internal dialogue. It is me believing in myself, acknowledging any mistakes or failures, concerns and accepting that it’s ok to not be perfect at things. When I look back I do believe that my negative self-talk was established when I was much younger and therefore I really wanted to focus on altering this, so that my daughter has the skills to process her thoughts a little differently. Will she? Who knows, but I realised that my negative self-talk held me back from things and I know that I hope she can navigate this a little better than I did.
I mentioned in an instagram post recently about how many times this Year I had heard women openly doubt and put themselves down because of their appearance or capabilities. This was all within the space of a week. It dawned on me that this must happen quite a lot, maybe subconsciously and to change anything, I always start with awareness. Awareness for me is key, as it is about recognising that my self-talk isn’t very productive or true. It is only my perception at that point in time. Now when I recognise I am being pessimistic, I try to alter my internal dialogue to be more optimistic. Sometimes this works and other times it doesn’t. It also depends on the situation, but what I have looked for is more of a balance of positive self-talk, rather than lots of negative.
I also try to surround myself with others who ground me, talk realistically and allow for more positivity, that includes on my social media channels. I regularly use the Smiling Mind app for example. One book that I think is great is You Are Positively Awesome By Stacie Swift (Affiliate). Its just so fun, full of good vibes, is realistic and has super cute illustrations that light up my days. There is also support out there from local health practitioners, GP’s and physicians if you feel you need more advice and support.
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Disclaimer: The information contained in this blog is of a general nature and is a reflection of my own personal experiences and thoughts. This should not be considered as individual advice.